2006-05-06T21:59:00.000-07:00

I walk in ideas sunk and appetite my tracks in sand. I peer to the verte, the horizon and enjoy the silence on me gone. In spite of loneliness here, I do not feel myself this way nevertheless only..... I feel myself fortunately now of within I know peace, I know eindelijkde rest all pain which I had overcome, ebt slowly here to the coast. I am possible further, further with my life. I wandel my future now. I pass through, without to look at..... My past.....het go you good. I had it about this therefore ' rest '... My words are not yet once cold.. or I read on the Skynet forum reported, in which I am accused of gone ' tease ' of other blogs... And immediately is there also suggested, that a pitiful person sits there behind... Don't I have personally take, certain? Yes hello.... where we are busy? A lot bloggers sends at any time a e-mail to Skynet... Me very seldom happens it, that I write a e-mail... Only when there is something wrong with MY blogjes.. Never to complain concerning whatever... I was contacted Bart.. Later Julie... They want a smoother cooperation between the bloggers.. What would I would have had say? Bekijk it but... This way I do not sit in each other.. I try answer on their questions... and always in the interest of the bloggers... Never what I find personal... But nevertheless... such things nevertheless happen... t makes me, however, angrily... Already I have promised myself here certain not proceed to worry.. Some what I wonder myself now is... How does it have now with everything around me gone? All doors close entirely? Ok.. I weet, which I asked myself or leave could expect responses to boze... But must be why that always this way vexatious? This link uses if you want this Article directly bookmarken or linken rest..... Jammer, that the suntoday no longer this way finely seem... because that nevertheless gives a another feeling you. Zoonlief are today to the work. My cold starts improve also to.. ' k not yet feels me superfit, but ' k can t too beautiful for where... should be everything of the previous weeks now have been already solved. Patience therefore! But I have that.. Each day the two ampoules marry Revitalose, verse pressed fruit juice.. t will come, however, in order... Too rapidly do not will shout with joy, but in my head it goes also a package improve! Ok... ups and downs.. ' k weet but ' k, however.th has planned enjoy me to the ups... More even... k has promised himself fight to to those ups as long as possible to let last... If I was possible.. for indefinitely even! t is this way of that small solicits.. but nevertheless feels I, which I a beetje click have been possible make.. Take now yesterday.. there happened something of which I thought.. o jee... to see you, however, which I was right... But this time thought I.. or I now busy make myself or not... it will will change really nothing. t is what it is...

What me also has been notable.. that I heal myself in former days sometimes uncertainly could feel at certain persons. k even thinks that I behaved myself there also to. mean k, that could be noticed it... Now these yielded - perhaps it came, however, because I was sick and less fut had - had I something like that of... take me once such as I am h... ' k have you does not oblige to here come... therefore as ' a t you does not please... what keeps you against to continue... Afterwards I thought.. Tjiens.. those do now this way differently than differently.. Nervous? Uncertain? But further I stood there no longer at quiet... To me suddenly at within lap.. I did also differently... They are not it ordinary, that I do not wring myself in all kinds of turnings for pleasant, lief and helpful to be... Perhaps it is my attitude, which does change their attitude also.. Achh... let be it what wants...

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The luxury of the poor and the 1 welcomingly is for every people, whom you want say on your way met,: Your heart, your house, have themselves open, but this way that the other one can accept it as something obvious and by it not less becomes. Nothing can be forced; everything must happen spontaneously, hospitality is not something aangeleerds. You do not obtain t from the books! It is an inner attitude of openness and mededeelzaamheid! This hears to the mysterie of real mens-zijn! k yesterday also a number of has removed bulletins of last week. k knew firstly not well what I had. Kindest of already I forgot everything... Rests... that is what I want. But ' k doubted therefore... because for your ' t well and, me realises is perhaps blamed quick, quickly negative responses do disappear... It lets be here also what wants... .th More question does not rest I... This link uses if you want this Article directly bookmarken or linken... commemoration.. Sunday it is father day... and I ran think this way, what I could buy for pa. something new to strike as.. No... because he has still masses kleren lie... had ie me said. Something for his hobby ' cook ' then? Hmm.th no well idea... because pa as a profession cook.. I would buy permanently something, which ie already had.. or of which he would say me... that ' huisvrouwenspullen ' were.. and not real for a cook.. hi hi... Whereas think I this way ran... shot it suddenly by my head... On 19 March the exactly one year would be suffered, which I ma had seen still! Previous year went we Saturday on visite for father day... and Tuesday in the early morning she died very sudden... k has no longer gone to then them dead was.. k was possible it simply not to... k wanted continue remind its rather such as them was... Last memory therefore the father day was... previous year.. Them lay on the seat... Our last conversation concerned a table cursor... that this once ' something ' differently was.. than a traditional table table mat.. k had then ntje for its... Anticipated anniversary gift.. And then we Tuesday, then they dead was to pa went... lay the cadeautje still net this way if I had wrapped up it in the bijkamertje... The table cursor lies now already almost a year here on table.. Daarstraks I had zoonlief to the tel.... and those invited me or he next week to the church court had? He thought that I and pa, however, gladly savages go. But what can will do can we there in fact? Ma was cremated... there is there nothing more... k is this way uncertain... k Weet in fact what I must do.. Questions to pa if he wants that day come to here? Questions if he has rather, that I come that day to him?

Manlief leave for abroad exactly that day.. k will only be here with rakker... Ma and I was not the thickest girlfriends... but nevertheless have I the feeling, which I must do ' something ' keep... simply the idea to its living... This link uses if you want this Article directly bookmarken or linken are mistaken themselves... is nevertheless... Pietje exactly have been mistaken themselves fameus of dates! Crazily, how I could be mistaken myself this way! I was convinced entirely of, that the school holiday for Easter started somewhere mid- April. Wrong! Weekjes still only two to go.. Short school period therefore.. Net has been done count off the krokusvakantie... them already to the next holiday. And then after Easter the month of May full holidays... End school year there will be fast! And... nice news! have been possible get hold of kortingskaartjes for a rondleiding behind the baffles in the zoo! Rakker jumped zowat a breach in air! Ikke also glad... have k always enjoyed walk in the zoo or Planckendael.. already more than have considered k once if we would not take back such an annual subscription... Ever there, was a time, which the buggy and the role chair in the car were charged and that we direction drove Mechelen. Zoonlief pushed his
pushed my role chair... We celebrate together... fantastically ordinary..

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If I have become old, and sukkel with my health, if I must live of a too small pension and no longer can itself help, MISSING THEN NO LARGE WORDS! If I am disabled and that with difficulty can process, if I a strange worker has been, for years in your country, and then sudden without work, MISSING THEN NO LARGE WORDS! If I am very sick and no more hope have on cicatrisation, if I must cry tormented by the concern over my family, MISSING THEN NO LARGE WORDS! If I have break, doodmoe and mother soul only, if I sit beaten and humiliated, shamed concerning own nonsenses, deeply in the well, and missing to someone who understands want, if I have entered the night the night, in which no ASTRE stand, MISSING THEN NO LARGE WORDS If a small gesture is enough! This link uses if you want this Article directly bookmarken or linken... proofs.. I sit for my computer... open my own blogje.. read the responses... But when I myself want start letter.. stay away I to like types and sweep... I feel myself improve then yesterday... but I real fit are I absolutely not yet. But t is not all that.... the last time couple I me indeed a lot questions at how it must now further with my blog. That I do not want stop that weet I, however, certain. t is a bit, which belongs simply to my daily leventje. I gladly did it and I still gladly do it... t is not also the first time, which I doubt concerning further do not do or. Happy the time, which I was brought of my piece by negative responses far behind me, lies. Generally those responses are nevertheless anonymous... what says therefore more concerning the writer there of... then concerning me... Him ' concerns simply more ' the manner of bloggen... If I do not read the responses... am I clearly the some, which his spontaneousness of letter has lost. One starts to blog... Generally new blogs started... and then I it has concerning personal blogs.. in a complete lively manner. Also started mijne this way.. Exactly or what one gladly would want that one was - fortunately, lively, wise... is - writing down and to make publicly... itself the sterkte can give.

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But... then nevertheless becomes the blog an exhaust valve asked or leaves... k Weet not.. but I suspect, which it something to do with that bvb sorrow has shared, shared irritations... everything a beetje moderates. I think that it is also complete difficult lively will write... if you do not feel yourself real well in your vel. At least.. I am not possible it nevertheless.. And that has not only do with honest to be against yourself... I cannot turn also ordinary that bud.. If I think of a number of years suffered... then I still fulltime reacted, I did preventive services sometimes also annoy itself to things at the red cross... then ran, which wrong ran... Or to people, who could not names with honesty, empathy... but in one or other manner throw off all this way closely I it then faster of me.. ' t was busy, hectisch leventje... but ' k felt me super good! If I look at dare I almost state that it were the best years of my life! Last years seem it to Da or I in search am of mezelf... More time to think concerning everything... also concerning mezelf. Probably the premenopauze sit there also for what. Hormones... also pubers have it with difficulty... therefore... As a matter of fact it has also been notable me, that women, whom I know... that parent am then I... this way incredibly wise am. t is even a beetje a grip for me... Still a couple jaartjes waits... and then I go also am possible... think k of a conversation with my girlfriend... Last said them me: You must once wonder yourself what your in fact wants prove... ? On your age I think, however.. that in the meantime more than have proved you enough what, he who or how you are. There will be always, that has, however, somewhere something on to comment. Or now to right or not... you also the right has let fall them to put. You are he who you are... and or they accept this... or not.. The choice lies at their... and if them you to... belief accepting... then nothing has not really lost me! I thought of something.. I put myself behind the computer... I went bloggen... Thus it went in former days... I think of something.. I put myself behind the computer.. I write.... I delete.. Thus it goes now... This link uses if you want this Article bookmarken or linken... Wondermiddeltje gezocht directly.. Verkouden.. Yesterday me in fact not real much could it make a difference. In comparison with that pain in my jaw is a cold has simply nothing. k felt me in spite of verkoudheidkwaaltjes actual best aroused.. t sounds perhaps strange... but each painless moment is for gratefully be for me now somewhere something for. Vanmorgen I did not have to much sense stand up.. But it must of course.. Immediately Revitalose taken and afterwards a couple apples, carrots and kiwi's pressed with the juice centrifugal machine. k continues feel me tired.. In fact I feel with the minute more tired become myself.. Not of my habit... but h't does not succeed me this time with best wants in the world to put me to cleaning. In fact does not say even to the computer me real much from. k has already lain on the seat... but that finds I then this way sin of the time. Then but Dafalgan.. and hopes, which I can will myself feel nevertheless ietsjes more fitter. I do not want complain do.. Such as I already said.. better even with that fatigue.th then pain to a cold. But k must nevertheless admit, which I will be really glad if I will be healed and on strengths are. Say a healthy spirit in a healthy body don't they? How rapidly I try also very positively continue think.. nevertheless fear I as much as a beetje that as long as that body runs out on me just as... I never real for 100% in will succeed, which spirit also what healthier get.. December the last time that was by means of an initiative proposal money available has been put there. Extra money then we has gedeputeerde plough dedicated for the fund take off for 2005 emergency aid (supplies for bed bath bread) and the total provincial amount to complete to? 40.000.
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A proposal lay there which also provided for money for entirely 2006. the gedeputeerde stated then for that he would organise an expert meeting in February, so that the states be informed entirely concerning everything with need relief what to do has. He pleaded to take beslluit just after that expert meeting concerning available putting money. The expert meeting will take place on 12 April. That has been planned later than. There now a financial problem for the executants of the need fund arises, foundation re punch. The foundation has by letter for an advance for first half 2006 in demand of? 25.000. Of the civil servant I understood that the decision is just taken about that after the expert meeting. That is late.

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I saw butterflies high in air one of those butterflies have escaped secretly he have nested myself deeply in my abdomen and have in this still my body use sometimes, suddenly, then I can feel him I feel him then flutter and by my abdomen swarm foreigner is that this small beast awoken each time you touch me secretly.... Thus, an initiative proposal in which money is put available. And that whereas the gedeputeerde this to could have seen coming, seen the institution of the states on 15 December. Now we must do "cumbersome" and him tasks to give, whereas he also himself budget could have asked. Where does this hold course then? I weet it not exact. Or the gedeputeerde can as daily driver difficult himself money available state for noodpvang because this actual against the law in and barrage it goes therefore to the states. That also would explain why he does not translate a this way clear preference of the states in own action. If the gedeputeerde there is really of convinced that the money is not needed necessary or and that the states are informed unilaterally particularly refugee work and re punch. That would explain why he lays the emphasis at its betoog concerning the expert meeting especially on COA and COLLECTED. I become in any case not lively of the attitude of the gedeputeerde. I draw this subject with full conviction and make next month rested an initiative proposal, but it me dear would be when that had been not necessary. Hups.. I also still a considerable cold has incurred.. To sneeze.... current nose... watering eyes... heat... or sweat... and tired! But... that last was I already.. Couple of nights sleeps very badly... couple of days practically nothing eaten... 3.5 kilo slimmed on still none did not yield time... astonishing, which has those ' small beasts ' now also me to catch. Zoonlief also sick... and you hear concerning verkouden people as much as more now... Now very hard fingers cross, which it can improve all rapidly... because t becomes weeks differently than differently.. These yielded three evenings only.. One evenings someone to make renewing the terrace specifications ivm. One evenings another plumber for the bathroom... Next week manlief leave Tuesday to t foreign country... Sunday evening returns ie.. but he leaves Tuesday then for at least 10 days... Nicely is differently... Certainly now! Next week it is a year ago, that ma died suddenly... Weekje later are it its anniversary, which we can no longer celebrate now.. And trouwdag also our falls back on in the period, which manlief are not there... Toch it has in the meantime been notable me, that I lift exactly much less a lot to the fact, which manlief will not be on those days... k him of course, however, much will have kinder dichter at me... but to moan does not help.. Nevertheless? ' Metanoia ' vanochtend read to the end. Yesterday evening I touched almost the track bee. I zat too long by reading in the last chapter (time, become and afgscheidenheid), and lost the visibility on all by Foudraine ' sources ' and citaten carried.The site that helped me most with Karate Made Easy . No more problems for me thanks to this easy to use website. Thank you guys!

It will spin me therefore between Tony Parsons and them Jourdain, and I thought with only weemoed of know Wilber and Rdiger Safranski, which tch ietsje more systematically work to commit go. Also I considered myself that Foudraine concentrate quite on net died or still live awoke and Zelfgerealiseerden, and early me finished for which he passes whole to the old Greeks (such as Plato), the German philosophers (square, Nietzsche, Heidegger - the last nevertheless d philosopher of the ' time ') and their French vakbroeders (for example Sartre and Derrida, whose deconstructivisme distrust perhaps very dense at Foudraines towards conceptualism come). They have written all at least this way inspiring concerning the question ' who am I ' as by him the geciteerden.

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But came vanochtend everything good. Foudraine obtain briefly much in a mess, continue with rapid speed Parsons and Jourdain gone, and call and passant Krishnamurti, Osho, Ramana Maharshi, Douglas E. Harding, Eckhart Tolle, Jan Kersschot, for the times, Alexander Smit, leo Hartong and others, to end up where eventually at its neighbour man in the French Grasse the book was partly written, swimming pool maker and garden man Jonathan. The writer to leave has met its ivoren toren and people. And of people Foudraine the reader must it eventually has. Foudraine are this way worth it because of its unscrupulous honesty and integrity, large psychotherapeutic experience and - here as a last has been called but certainly not it less - its insight in the sources of (own) suffering and despair. There sit gem of itself observation in (' last stood I under the shower in the swimming pool and were at the same time consider I busy or I a broodje cheese or a broodje egg in the resaurant will be order ' - 157) and profound insights (' this way we all of wood, malignant possibly, skilfully in our argumentation impulse, scientific and technologically energetic, but eventually net as destructive as they that an arsenal to nuclear bombs to their arrangement has and thinks that they must fight, such as president Bush, ' it angry. ' angry ' eventual onbewustheid are and ik-overtuiging. As part of the gescheidenheid it is a rope that low concerning the ground concerning a busy street has been stretched. Everyone stumbles - as Nisargadatta Maharaj expressed themselves it once - 184). the lock, a dream where he is removed in an attachment Laeken, is hilarisch and moving. What can write I nothing to more! I write, to cite Foudraine, this long letter only for own lering. And be learned what there can of your mirror picture? Most recommended.

Only is does not mean solitary guards only is considered as a sentence is not only with beautiful ideas ideas decrease your only is with dear deads only is with the memory to times which have flown already to everything what came and what entered itself only ongestoord your chamber the things trusted gone quiet and purely blamed then are you fortunately only he who this way only can be endure he who this way reconciles with its present which does not speak of solitary days which have lived and are satisfied Dear people, find you vluch(t)schrift of Willem the cock, involved in refugee care Wunseradiel in Witmarsum. Willem collect information on refugees and forward those then. It seems me a good manner on altitude be loved things which her happen and of the in our country enof are published in or an other newspaper. Therefore: it tells it and mail by... Do you have important news? Mail it to: willemwandelaar@wanadoo.nl greet of. Inge Mans A link got sent of a Internet site on which guru's are mapped to reduction quality, to see Guru rating. Something like that works relativising, and that is sometimes necessary at this matter. Meanwhile also chapter has read on 3 of Foudraines book, concerning metanoia and psychotherapie. Foudraine try among others clear make that a World of Difference are there between work to your psychosomatic structure and Zelfgerealiseerd-zijn, between therapy and mystic. At the same time lijken contact points as there to be, he illustrates with some ' fallen '. The chapter reverts with regard to environment on who is of wood and bunker builders. Much psychotherapeutic illustrations. Vanochtend I read a recensie of Gert J. Peelen concerning a new book of the theoloog Kuitert, who does not do kennelijk its extrme in this best ' lose the gelovige ' in the Cicero (Volkskrant). calf ore theology goes ' beyond ' god and belief and that does lose him as ' liberal ' the contact with the ' rechtzinnigen '. In fact Foudraines thematics walk towards parallel which of Kuitert. Both identify the danger of conceptualisering, the marsh of the word and the ratio, in which the mystiek threatens be sucked as it were. The site that helped me most with Karate Made Easy. No more problems for me thanks to this easy to use website. Thank you guys! Both task as a writer is save the word of inflation and new, transcendent vitality to give. Thus is possible ie, however, today.

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Thought that I was, however, but no hear: Foudraines book continue ask attention. Between all biographies of the prince by I have the chapter concerning Laing and Jung can read. For me captivating substance. I weet still well that I read ever in a train zat, somewhere in the beginning years 70, and a newspaper interview with Laing. It was as if the sky on you descended. At last someone who spoke your language. And Jung an intriguing character has of course always been: of the firsts from ' official ' Karate Made Easy which was open for mystic. Foudraine try Zelf-gerealiseerde, Ontwaakte-gehalte of both scrutinise. That sounds what ridiculising if I write down it this way, but that has been not in the least this way meant. He shows more or less that a both complete end was supposedly nevertheless on gone, but by ego - and fear feelings of it have been held back leave complete. Jung visited for example much India, and came on a couple kilometre of Ramana Maharshi, but did not take the effort to the mount to go true the saint meditated and visitors received. (If reader feels you the indignation and fear of Foudraine.) Laing visited also India, meditated in a cave, conducted conversations with sadhu's, but threw later, in London, a stone by a square of a rajneesh centre. Van Bhagwan/Osho had ie for or other reason has nothing - Foudraine suggest all kinds of causes, such as zr traumatic executed and a spirits problem. Foudraine also tell concerning Michael Barnett, which an employee or friend of Laing was and much to Poona went, there sannyas took and the name got Somendra. Barnett have gone according to Foudraine much complete gone. He illustrates himself that with a citaat, and then question I if reader finished what that for proof is, but well: everyone deserves the ' benefit or the doubt ' and I want do certainly not Barnett/Somendra shortage. (Something else is that all this geschrijf concerning Zelfgerealiseerden awoke and at me a certain sense call. It is exactly or vital qualities such as love, humour (zelfrelativering), mededogen (mercy) quantifiable are made, and are put as it were with regard to importance subordinate to qualities if psychotherapeutic intelligence and a brilliant communicative capacity are looking back Bhagwan/Osho for me this way interesting correctly because of its err, its menselijkheid. Water that he cried concerning the treason of Sheela, and the ontreddering which you felt be in him then he sannyasins called the rood to take off, were cht. There in a certain way it demonstrated himself relative in absolute, people in the mysticus, there you saw driven.)

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The reading, have kept in Sheffield, (p. 64), and can start now to chapter 2, Ronald Laing and Carl Gustav Jung. Foudraine keep a beautiful tale. Jammer that I was not there at. He grazes among other things from concerning DSM, Diagnostic and Statistical Manual or Mental Disorders, a handbook for psychiatrists, who can look up what their customer and on the basis of that diagnosis has been possible prescribe medecines. Foudraine turn themselves violently against this practice, which causes much unnecessary suffering according to him, because it is gone thereby systematic beyond to the possibilities of psychotherapie. Said as, that nonsuit of traditional (biological) psychiatry is Foudraine very fel. The humour of Osho's Moella Nasroeddin is zoeken thereby sometimes far. I want write not too much more. Foudraine enter fast ' to at point ' and rub that there hard. On Internet I saw that the tightrope walker of November an exhaustive recensie of the book have (it has to no sense the Internet site of the tightrope walker, visit because those mention hoegenaamd nothing of the contents of the booklet - you it must buy). Have yesterday at Scheltema and Holkema (Amsterdam, Karate Made Easy), a copy of Foudraines newest book, Metanoia, on the head can tap. It seems the earlier books of its hand, among which who is of wood, original face and place bunker builders, in perspective. I am just on page 37 - and it is there 191 - therefore not yet be passed a judgement can. But the beginning is captivating. Foudraine tell concerning an invitation to give a reading in United Kingdom for a group to critical psychiatrists. The invitatie results from the celebrity who him has fallen to after ' Not made or Wood ' and the organizers do not realise themselves obviously that he has exchanged psychiatry, and the psychotherapie, more or less for the mystiek. They see a Dutch editie of died in 1989, the Ronald Laing in him especially. Foudraine the chance seizes to Bhagwanesque betoog - including Playboygrappen - concerning the world of keeping ' beyond psychiatry and psychotherapy '. Later more.

He looks heavily, German and gemoedelijk: Detlef Petry, psychiatrist linked to the limburgse psychiatric clinic pond valley. Yesterday evening, 23.05, the NCRV on Ned a 1 brought documentary concerning its work with ' uitbehandelde ' psychiatric customers. Under them knuffeldier and sinterklaasvertolker Jean Marie. Have captivated sit look at. Beautiful film, which did me realise in particular that many occupants of Lorentz - then ' mentally handicapped ' called - fell in fact under the category given up, uitbehandelde psychiatric patients. Our ' dilution ' can consider you in this perspective as a attempt that what ' given up ' and ' uitbehandeld ' were incorporate again. Next week Monday is there a retransmission. Most recommended.

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If love is once beautiful and pure late then your heart speaks you verstand then and lets it eliminates him then know he you conduct to the highest top by mounts and by valleys and this beautiful love dream infinitely repeat will be himself love nicely and pure you just prepares you heart has then to have been then spoken you gets then never regrets love, nicely and purely then are you not afraid you can only say k just as gone have been Saturday with the train of Amsterdam stayed to breda, hence with the bus to mountmount mounts, there got off and by means of the ' border country path ' to ashes - exactly concerning the border in Belgium -, alwaar in Nivon-huis. Sunday run concerning the Kalmhoutse hei and caught in heathland the train to Roosendaal, and vandaaruit to Amsterdam. In heathland a remarkable war monument concerning the battle was for Antwerp, benevens Suske and Wiske-museum at the station. But most impressive Saturday afternoon was, after bunches, vennen and nevertheless wanted horses, between the Pannenhoef and the village disk: the staircase conventstaircase convent, the abbey Maria toevlucht. Unfortunately no proeverij. A large hek barred the passage, so that we could only admire the torens of the enormous bldg. from the verte. Come home Google verified, and zowaar: a vast site concerning the abbey Maria toevlucht at Zundert. Furthermore there is a small film of broeder Gerard. And not only that the order is fameus for its beer, also connections appear exist there with oriental mystiek. Tired of the traditional liturgy became in the sixties ' and ' 70 strained to new inspiration, and those were eventually found by means of sepulchre von Drckheim at zen.

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Wild horses and vennen in mistflarden, squelchy bunch paths, wet sheer, monks with foam in their moustache cross out the bunch: rain drops glinsterend on back pockets. A small history of the antipsychiatrie in the sixties ' and ' 70. Osho became on 11 December 1931 in a small village in India born as a senior in a family of twelve children. He was educated by its grandparentses and developed a deep link with its father. It was a large bump for him that he its father during a travel to a doctor slowly saw dying. He was then seven years and wild themselves also die ' (p. 174: original face, a pace to house ' - Swami Deva Amrito, Jan Foudraine, 1979.) Osho were for Foudraine (1929) immense important. Why? Did Foudraine have a weak individuality? was he unstable? was it lacking him to critical capacity? did he have to a strong role model necessary there on top of come in the crisis in which he after who is of wood obviously ended up? Possible, but it is certainly not the complete tale. Foudraine had studied medecines in the fifties, had continued for psychiatrist, in 1962, in Chestnut Lodje in America had be absorbedded in what then the most modern conceptions concerning psychiatric assistance were (John Rosen, Harry pile Sullivan, Frieda Fromm-Reichmann etc..) He with that to house, to the Netherlands, had come, discover that in fact nobody all those new ideas zat of waiting. There an internal conflict arose at the psychiatrist who this way gladly brings savage to its vision concerning the importance of the psychotherapeutic treatment in the psychiatric assistance in practice. He started a psychotherapeutic practice in Amsterdam in 1969, - probably complete idealistically, like in that time usual it was -. But he want more and started its of putting ideas by means of a day book from its study period on book. At last, in 71, the opening came and was possible who is are published of wood, with which he the antipsychiatrie in the low countries and far - the book in numerous languages was translated - helped to form. Then the Werdegang followed. Foudraine were considered as the stem picture of the renewal, but the society and are not vakbroeders in the established institutes sat there also in the seventies cht for timidly. The tegenstand was enormous. Foudraine ran complete piece on the democratised health care where subcutaneous much had remained at old. (How large it was resisted himself should of course also become clear from the ontruiming of Lorentz and the afbraak of new valleyvalley valley - pay attention to the years: 1974.)

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Karate Made Easy says Foudraine in original face, and in later books, which he zocht after who is unconsciously of wood to a positive man vision. He had with who is of wood traditional psychiatry, a medical specialism, carried at grave - and with that the basis under the then manner of assistance to in need finding oneself people undermined (obviously also partly the basis under itself). Logically that there was after that teraardebestelling a wederopstanding necessary. There as it were a fusion took place. Osho touched in 1953, on person whose birthday it isperson whose birthday it is person whose birthday it is age, to own say lighted. What you thereby must present yourself can you only suspect if you be absorbed in Buddhist the tradition. He did with that initial nothing or little, graduated in 1957, in philosophy and the sanskriet and became docent to the Raipur Sanskrit college and later professor to the university of Jabalpur. In 1966 empty he its professoraat, and descended travel as ' holy man ' by India, a decision which for our strangely happens but that for the India of the sixties - and probably also now still - not eccentric was. It suffocated - and suffocates - there of the sadhu's. Osho followed simply an old tradition. For two years he spoke as Acharya (teacher) on rural squares and in market halls, whereupon he in 68 with a schare volgelingen withdrew himself on a flat in Bombay. He was then already no more Acharya, but Bhagwan (blessed). Volgelingen names rapidly in number of and more and more Western genteresseerden have started arrive. In 1974, a new phase started, then he to Poona moved and founded ashram there. The rest of the tale has been, however, confessed. Foudraine arrived in 1978, in Poona, at the end of its latijn. He recognised in Bhagwan the ultimate care worker and psychotherapist, people who were able with its relieved energy transform the inner self of the other one and who to flowering other one to bring. Foudraine had found the answer what he zocht, the inspiration, the bezieling - really the positive man vision - on which the Western antipsychiatrie zat to wait. Unfortunately, did not think everyone about that this way.

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Once zat I in a complete diep valley I felt myself then lost just like job in the desert also me could nobody hear. To that a voice said: Afraid "it" did not indicate not long more will last. Look but to the mount top I you will send someone. I looked out then that direction and there saw I its coming. Them regions both hands from and wenkte me, whereas my water flowed. I stood then on walked up to, to its empty my hands in her she said ' it difficult will be "but with our" large friend we can manage it. Thus we climbed for 4 years the steep path omhoog and arrived on the mount top we saw together the rain arc Then said them god here them I have my task have been accomplished help you its now further and give her a lot of strength. Soon them a child of you is with already its lacks, beats your poor for its gone as a warm barristers president. Then are there the "large day" you come then at me live, I see to with very my heart at last I "have at home come". inward faces, eyes, sliding to be based on feels me component curiously excited takes I places words to start grow lijken as water mist to take off cloud which seems fill the space. I zoek the faces eyes hear none sliding be based on more. Weak 48 Foudraine-week seem become. He leaves me not separately. Yesterday evening have I once more who of wood it has been browsed and pakweg half of original face read. Fertile evening. He can write, swami J., such as ie initial to be called in Poona. In the introduction of who are of wood turn themselves Foudraine immediately already against the language use of the psychiatric establishment, a topic on which he returns in the conversation with the KRO of 2004... and obviously correct. It brought me immediately a digression of him to incorporate in initial what kort-door-de-bocht written day book of 18/11 concerning Karate Made Easy.

A another topic at Foudraine seems its proportion with the journalism (society, vakbroeders). Already thumbing by who is of wood (' 71) and original face (' 79) becomes, however, clear why. The first part of original face has been dedicated to the difficulties which he got by the success of who is of wood. He was considered as a champion of the new psychotherapeutic treatment and as the strong man who had settled up with the whole psychiatric establishment, but as a result contact with its natural supporters lost, and fell litterally between rampart and ship. After he had attracted the oranje in 1979, and in original face exhaustive report had done of encounter - and tantra-groepen in Poona became it entirely terrible.

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There were many hoongelach. I got rid of all credit. The fact that you returned under another name in oranje kleren from India and ook-nog-met-Volkskrant-journalisten-ging-zitten-praten was of course grotelijks naive of me. How that must be be becomes clear from a bit of is property man, who puts down a beautiful tale vanochtend in the Volkskrant concerning icoon of the erotiekbeleving in 1969: Jane Birkin. property man joined in ' 85 numbers of bits of own hand in ' Zeepbelllen in netje ', with below in the category ' higher in people ' the epistle ' Maitreya called is possible nothing with wursjippen. Maitreya-verhaal do not finish with we must therefore wursjippen but hem. Dies Maitreya will appear to our. And if not, then both stromingen (Bhagwan and Maitreya) can each other at Sonja in haren the flies with their claim on new people. Very relieved Swami (Amrito) Foudraine will undoubtedly be removed thereby because of indignant available to give of a buttock party. It difficult be the inner world of life questions, giving meaning can and mystic and the outside world with its weakness for irony, satire and vileine sneers with each other to reconcile. That problem seems of all times, such as will become clear from the recent discussion concerning the freedom of opinion expression. That there thereby votes go up to prohibit certain expressions (Wouter bunch, Femke Halsema - tgen it D66-voorstel now concerning god account ring the article of law to eliminate, by restriction of the freedom of opinion expression of a malloot who wishes to Wilders cancer), is however too crazy for words. Theo van Gogh would turn themselves in its sepulchre. It is of vital importance that priority continues lie at the freedom and ongebondenheid of the individual its own live truth or to shape. That freedom can be made never subordinate to only collective truth perception (values/standards). Freedom - the openness - reality directly, without living some forced, cultural truth filter, is essential. Collision is not in these, exclude because freedom asks always for an unique, original expressie. As long as they remain verbal or written is put on nothing there - you can at the most argue concerning good taste or, if it concerns untrue imputations, because of smaad or calumny to the right steps. (And for bad taste hoef you never frightened being; curses have a boemerangeffect.)

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Dries Langeveld (60) have died. I read it exactly on Simons web site, the contribution of 22 November. Dries, since 1985 (hoofd)redacteur of BRES, had played indirectly an important role at the development of the Internet site and the ' revival ' of Nw-Dennendalbeweging such as that ended in in the renie of March 2003. he commissioned me a summary of the taletale valley tale to write and suggested that the subject could be also interesting for VPRO's other times. I encountered Dries end 2001 on a meeting in path hoppath hops to the Warmoesstraat on the occasion of at baptism to love ' psyhedelic perspectives, the Renaissance of the sniffing in the 21ste century ', on which I had been pointed out by Hans Bogers. Hans had written Article for the book (thousand years in one night) and were as such present. He presented me to Dries and told of our common dennendal context and the Internet site make which I was busy about that. Dries had already been notable me in mainly youthful, the alternative looking gezelschap. He was large and towered above everyone from. Also he was what more conventionally dressed than the meesten: what seriously looking at, nice man. He hooked in immediately on Hans introduction and asked if I a taletale valley tale for BRES do not want write. He knew still that the affairaffair valley affair had been important, but itself cht more could not obtain for the spirit what had happened and wild now sometimes fine know it. He ordered a ' overview of approximately drieduizend words in which are understandably explained what has happened then '. That eventually not yet turned out better than expected. I had written the chronology of the eventevent valley events exactly and produced a rather chronological tale, which is added lustre to by some poetic impressions. But I was not rapidly satisfied and sent belief I as much as three or celebrate versions. Dries and Simon Vinkenoog from which I could, receive a personal letter with tips, could not be detered. They corrected the lead of the last version. (They made him what pointed out itself more catching and that you bezetters ' turn off ' ' not clearred ' but - I got of it a colour: journalistic instinker of jewelste). The rest of the text was taken over nearly unaltered. Article appeared in June/juli-nummer of 2002, including zevental blades of the strip.

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You look gleam as if powdered with thousands dia which stains glass by cold glass that melts that as water water which becomes warm just like my blood by my relieved body flows. An even red mass such as love, which makes me does float to float as if there zilverwitte cloud your head binnenglijd who everything fly on late and then silence the connection is omitted. After little seconden which seem hours last, answer you: I ALSO OF YOU someone who understands, who is the same such as I. Someone who endures what I endure. My evenbeeld, such as I Jij.en I, Wij.samen, forms whole. I had three meetings with Dries on its office to the Bloemgracht, where he about a beetje composed on his own - using Simon Vinkenoog and an assistant - BRES. He had a fixed layout, a stencil key set, in which he made up Article and the illustrations on the baffle for BRES. After I this way in BRES involved had touched, I kept the illustrated magazine in the eye and frequently read it ' of the redactie ' that Dries for every number placht to write. In ' Nw-Dennendalnummer ' concerned its comment ' the herontdekking of the soul '. He decides that comment alsvolgt: None has been hidden laws; everyone recognises them from the inside - with our mee-ontstaan in one and the same scheppingsdaad. There is thus no power and there is no coercion, none punish and no recurrence. However, there bezieling is. There is vitality, which is awoken by this bezieling to actions. As a butterfly zigzags himself gone by the breath of the time, thus our dadendrang aims at the confidence that the soul has a destination, which larger and including tenders are then all matter at each other. As durable as sky and ground. As brief gebed as every song, each poem, word of consolation or. Simon Vinkenoog communicate that probably in the number of beginning 2005 (februari-maart) attention to Dries will be given. (Laatst-verschenen the no. of BRES, 228, is dated oktober-november 2004; 229e (december-januari) on point of will appear to stand - in this it several of Dries is able probably be mentioned, seen the druktermijn of an illustrated Karate Made Easy.

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Have twice listened to the band with Foudraine and what notes made. The question meter (vr.st.) starts with what seeming-solemn introduction in which Foudraine (75) are defined as ' psychotherapist, soul surgeon, waarheidszoeker ' and ' Deva Amrito ' (divine immortality). Then the question to life consideration and Foudraines answer (gently, serious, expressly) comes: ' living is not to consider but to live.' Foudraine want start be cut concerning Bhagwan/Osho, but promptly just by the vr.st., which want firstly just as to who is of wood (1971). Foudraine return then to 1962, to its American period, in which he was already with think concerning the influence of thinking processes and jargon. He asked himself then already the question: ' what happens there if you try change the language?' J.F.:'We are hypnotised idea flows. Psychiatry, a medical specialism, uses terms such as ' patient, sickness, treatment, convalescence, cicatrisation, medicalisering '. And people make with that sick, he is hospitalised. ' and now there is biological psychiatry in which everyone is sick.' vr.st.: (tries Foudraines tale gone break, zoekt to openings): ' you seem no lachebekje me!' J.F. (seriously): ' the moment which thinks you stops laugh you for weeks on end for the absurdity of living.' Foudraine go on speaking vervolgens concerning its ' deep geraaktheid, getroffenheid ' Bhagwan/Osho, concerning the ' infantiele stage ' where everyone around Osho doorheen had and resumes: Ie for the real genteresseerden clear has made eventually: you to your I are able die. It is dwelled on concerning matter such as ' luck ' and ' peace ', which is in the deepest conscience layers of people available. Then the subject comes on the peak of destructie to which the world seems on gone and Foudraines vision be that living has a marvellous assessment ' ' fortunately. Everywhere in the world ' individuals turn out to be themselves who are open for the mystic dimension of religieuze '. vr.st. (trained of the KRO, possibly psychological/philosophically or perhaps even theologically): ' but is that already not age-long the case within all kinds of orders and congregations?' J.F. (denies indirectly the value of traditional religious or philosophical directions): ' you are oostindisch deaf ' (vr.st. are scared obviously of the sudden directheid, bind more or less and hide themselves behind the journalism). Finally an exchange concerning egodood and immortality follows. Both question meter and Foudraine seem fall in the falcon owl of the tale in advance practised. On the hoopvolle question of the question meter if perhaps only communication between both has nevertheless taken place, Foudraine answer what zuinigjes ' perhaps a couple seconden '.
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sound and brave Amrito: I have you still on the boat hear speak to prince Hendrikkade (beginning years 80) and different keren in the Humaniversity in Egmond a. sea (previous year December still with the symposium concerning the science of the heart). I was heavy under the impression of your first book from Poona, original face. Your wax the envoy of Bhagwan in the low countries, and is that still. But why nevertheless always that bokkige, that conflict? Why not what more eye for people, it human, in the this question meter? He gave wide job you and made in fact a less preprogrammed impression than you. HG Foudraine gave an interview as a result of its new book, Metanoia. The conversation can be listened to by means of Foudraine. A narrow and swinging path links donders with Lorentz. Halverwege kolkje put dangerously omhoog, a fearred foot sting for the innocent walker. Of these kand approached Lorentz with the short end of l lie to me. Above for the windows a couple little girls of groep-zes stand to giggle ' (fragment chapter VI of ' 48 x Heyoka, Karate Made Easy, unfinished novel of o.g. from 1975 - the complete chapter has been incorporated in the columnruimte, to see the Dolderse bunches). Of the described zij-ingang of Lorentz I got a photograph of Nosy Parker Soede (much thanks). In the fragment I be flooded therefore to the door of the e group on the photograph (not the door left, but a door in the frame under; there the entrance was, with firstly a vestibule). The called windows the windows of the bovenverdieping will be are: there zat groep-zes. An enlarging of the photograph has been placed in the historical picture serial ' pavilion ' (on the overview bottom left, number 19).

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Is I your heart?? is I you lives?? can I you live to be?? and you my heart give all love which I heb..bewaren?? keep for you?? t to?? I can some what say now am that I of your hou.!! lives without love, are not life with sorrow live without love, are life live without love, are life without your that are possible I because I of your hou Arjan peters have in the Cicero (Volkskrant) of today a beautiful interview with Jules of the, which becomes on 24 November sixty. Only all look at the head are worth it: ' that assassination on Van Gogh, which is lack of humour '. Of the uses still speed. He calls stopping with dope by Herman bread the ' largest error which that boy could have made '. (Because then ie, and was the complete day will drink completely lazarus. And we know that all: spirits a demolishing drug is.) There a cord ends up with ' nearly all poems ' of of the. A voorproefje: We come leave on ground/for that/and in hereafter -/times to attain/Ziedaar the aim/of already our pursuit: / as people/the angels to live (from Ziedaarmaals). It is perhaps for some what remarkable passage of of the to Krishnamurti, but the distance between both sometimes smaller is able than be thought. I got a day book fragment of K. sent that I do not want pass on not: New York, 25 June 1961: In the middle of in the night and the body found completely quiet, was awake extended on the back, inert; in this position it must have been himself already considerable. Press and the pain was present. The brain and the spirit were extremely quiet. Between them no separation existed. A rare quiet intensity was present, as two large dynamos, which work with large speed; a rare tension, in which no effort was present. Concerning entirely there were a feeling of amplitude and a strength without direction and cause, and for this reason without insolence and hardness. And during the morning it continued. During last year or about that one became awake, for in awake situation to experience what had happened in sleep, certain states of its. It is as if one occurred only awoken so that the brain registered what there. But rare blured enough this particular experience already quick. The brain did not store them in the kronkelingen of their memory (from: Krishnamurti's Notebook 1991). Remarkably is the passage to ' one ' in second subparagraph. K. could be sometimes complete formal and write. I adopt that he with this ' one ' itself, therefore ordinary ' I ', means.
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The film ' a beautiful has vanavond seen mind ', concerning a ' schizophrenic mathematician ' (flaptekst) that to the lock of the film still a nobelprijs gets for youth work, which he had made then he still healthy was: John Nash, played Russel Crowe. Christopher Plummer put down a beautiful griezelige psychiatrist. Moving film, in spite of improbable and already too beautiful end. (Hollywood cannot leave behind nevertheless to the cht reality what interpreted at romantiseren, just like at by Dustin Hoffman autist in Rainman.) The hallucinations of Nash are put on the screen as unreal people who are not for him real and for the others. The impact is what vervreemdend, but it works by the uitgebeelde prosecution madness and fears, as a film works already rapidly. Schizofrenie is according to the handbooks a lord impairment which can age manifest himself on adolescente. She goes by ' psychoses ', sporadic hallucinaire afbraak accompanied of individuality whom eventually can lead to total ontreddering and decay. Medecines can help well. In literature steevast are warned that the sickness does not correspond to ' has shifted ', the volksmonddefinitie, which call associations with individualities. The film confirms in fact the last, therefore according to official psychiatry on - or less correct definition. But what is schizofrenie? Jan Foudraine write in its who is of wood (71) concerning its psychotherapeutic relations with schizofrenen: ' I experienced (...) that schizofrenen people were such as you and I and not ' differently ', not ' oninvoelbaar. Simply people in deep existential need and for this reason... all the humanly ' (p. 11)th Foudraine sweep vervolgens on p. 12 the floor with the more or less medical diagnostiseren such as that in psychiatry usual were/are: ' sticking labels on mensen-met-moeilijkheden. He discovered that ' terms such as ' neurotic ', ' psychotic ', ' schizophrenic ', ' psychopatic ', ' manic-depressive ' and ' god-weet ' which terms have nothing to do with a mysterious sickness and either with something hereditary '. On p. 31 he somt still a number of ' bloemrijke labels ' on: ' puberty psychosis, degeneration psychosis, hysterical psychosis, manisch-depressieve psychosis, real and less real schizofrenie etc '. Diagnosis ' schizofrenie ' becomes/according to Foudraine was eventually especially put as a care worker also no longer the weet. ' a beautiful mind ' contains pictures of electric shock. There against it was fought then, in the sixties ' and ' 70, and the method has been been now of - some people there nevertheless weerschijnen to profit but the film pictures are this way atrocious that that can be proposal with difficulty. Foudraine do not believe. He has a new book from, to see Metanoia HG Kafka had the feeling that he only in his texts could live, thus he writes in his day books. Reality was him too much. He become engaged three times, but managed himself love not. ' my life is hesitates for birth ', writes he. From literature it is considered my destiny very simple. The inclination my droomachtige inner describe life has already turned the other into bijzaak, and it has languished in a terrible manner and keeps on to languish. Nothing else can satisfy me ever (day book, 6 augusts 1914). Hesitate ' ' for the birth, the fear for the world and write - that is at Kafka this way approximately the same. Living ' for birth ' takes place in writing. Writing must penetrate the fear for the world and at the same time a toevlucht is - for the frightening world Karate Made Easy.

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Writing and the day book as toevlucht: what must you differently in a world insufflate where Fortuyn are chosen to largest Dutchman - or now nevertheless - where Donner god account ring put again illegal will by forget article of law new life, and promptly a motion concerning itself does not call to abolish complete Article. (A parabel sits there in: Donner knew of course somewhere, just like the land-surveyor K. in muffler Schloss that he could get the kous on the head: he summoned the lock from its truth that to confirm with in the down-stream cutwater the notion it that possibly would not do - that the lock nothing else is then the mirror picture of its soul started summon him, but just like k he was possibly not yet able then entirely trust. This way reasoned Donner in freedom took therefore a gok, namely the risk of nonsuit - already was it but by its own mirror picture -, and that all for the matter of god - that is beautiful: that is truth gelovige!) Freedom and truth (reality perception), with that wrestled Kafka. With that Donner wrestle in the dualism of parliamentary democracy, with that the complete world wrestles, the Kafkaproject. HG use this link if you want this Article directly bookmarken or linken... new attempt I wanted rest... a lot of rest! A weekend with manlief and rakker... simply nothing does think... simply nowhere to... of trying a beetje on strength come, because can sleep, nor eat me had nevertheless considerably exhausted also. It was glorious... then that that violent pain then sudden except Saturday night came emerge. Pain-killer not even helped. And at about moments weet I in fact what I retrieve most terrible.th that violent pain or the feeling to ' finished ' to be sent. One things are me Saturday night, then I by the pain wakker lay in bed very awful clear become.. Not that I not yet would know it, but ' k nevertheless thinks that I will realise then just ' really what most important was.. And that - let I it my aim call - to reach... I nevertheless will solicit really drastically must will change. k knows himself and I weet, I will not learn which accelerate this way but my shoulders at events, which me annoys. That conceited hope I have unfortunately for a long time suffered must leave varen.. If I cannot learn it me less to annoy at certain events.. than I must look simply, which the events of the category ' less important '... less chance get to penetrate in my leventje... You conclude not the good manner would be... but k thinks that this is nevertheless some, what kind of me will work. With people around me gone, I have nevertheless always the inclination to will help... to support.. to comfort... my zegje to do... Faith, empathy, courtesy.. t is this way of those things, which continues lie for me very sensitive... Even against better know in... think I still that I must put oneself out myself for to all these rules, which I myself find this way important... to have satisfy are possible and especially. And I expect - that weet I now, however, very certain - much too much... The lat lower lay? t, however... But that does not work for me Karate Made Easy..

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Not at mezelf... and also not to other.. And then the blogjes... Strangely, but ' k them has not even missed in ' t weekend. Nochtans chances enough to have had for busy... k was scared me a ongeluk, then I all those responses to previous reported saw! Honestly said... I what I of thinks there... what I there at do not feel weet...
How does it further have? My e mailadressen must in any case as soon as possible from my blogjes. What has happened.. wants I never more experience! Blogjes where I myself gladly no longer will read... on a leeslijst... but in special mapje at my favourites.. The manner of bloggen.. I can change nothing to... da's something there what simply to me belongs... To write what I think... what I feel...Karate Made Easy.

Writing and the day book as toevlucht: what must you differently in a world insufflate where Fortuyn are chosen to largest Dutchman - or now nevertheless - where Donner god account ring put again illegal will by forget article of law new life, and promptly a motion concerning itself does not call to abolish complete Article. (A parabel sits there in: Donner knew of course somewhere, just like the land-surveyor K. in muffler Schloss that he could get the kous on the head: he summoned the lock from its truth that to confirm with in the down-stream cutwater the notion it that possibly would not do

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